I ran across some of my old webpages on an old disk and found the twins’ birth story, written in 1998, so I thought I’d share. It’s long…

I remember vividly when it was confirmed that I was having twins. I do think I really did *know* before having my sono but my jests to my family about twins were always followed by a resounding, “No way!” from the family member teasing me over my girth or extreme exhaustion. I was attending the Baltimore Birth Center because I had wanted a natural birth for my new baby. The CNW’s were great and I was in my 6th month and doing fine except for one small problem–each time I went I would measure about a month or so bigger than I actually was. No one was really concerned but they did suggest that I have an ultrasound to rule out any problems. My husband went with me–the birthing center did not have a sono machine so I had to go to an imaging center to have it done. I was lying on the table, my husband was seated in a chair at the foot of the table and the technician put the transducer against my tummy moving it back and forth. “How do you want to be told?” she asked. Michael thinking she was asking about the baby’s sex said that we wanted to know if it was a girl or boy. “Well,” the technician said, “there’s baby A and there’s baby B.” Michael grabbed my foot in a death grip and didn’t let go of it until I got up from the table. He was in a state of shock. I was elated and secretly vindicated! We could distinctly (because I was so far along and they were cooperative little stinkers) see that they were little boys. There was one problem though–their kidneys were dilated. I had gone through the same thing with Sean, our eldest son. He was born with hydronephrosis of his left kidney due to a stricture in his ureter. He had surgery at 2 weeks of age and was proclaimed well when he was four years old. I was to find out later that renal problems (reflux) runs in families and all siblings should be checked for it. Michael, still in shock, did not speak in the car. I was chattering a mile a minute, I was so excited! By the time we got to my parents house he was starting to come around and actually starting to like the idea (we had wanted a little girl).

My mom was at home alone. We walked in and the first thing she asked, “Is it a girl?” “No,” we answered. “Nooooo!” wailed my mom. “It’s actually 2 boys.” “NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!” wailed my mom louder. I immediately called my sister, Colleen, because our eldest, Sean, was staying with her for a few days. We told her our good news. “NOOOOOOOO!” she cried. At least Sean was happy about it. My sister, Honey, was the only one who verbally expressed joy over it. Everyone in the family was hoping for a girl. And that’s the story of the day I found out I was having twins…….

Some times you hope that if you don’t acknowledge something (or someone) that it will go away. I think I did this with the boys’ kidney problems. They were born at 34 weeks. I had complications due to high blood pressure but I was able to deliver my boys naturally, without an epidural or pain medications–which is what I wanted. My gyn/ob, Dr. Elizabeth Bayusik, was absolutely wonderful. I am very grateful to her. I think that I knew that something was very wrong physically with the boys even though they seemed to be fine. I asked their pediatrician repeatedly if their kidneys felt okay, mentioning the dilation seen on the sonos. I guess when you’re dealing with 4 and 5 pound babies you really can’t tell anything by a physical examination. I knew I should have insisted that Cade and Connor received a sono–hindsight. At six weeks of age, Connor became extremely sick. We spent a week in the hospital, having test after test as they tried to determine what was wrong. Every day, it seemed, a new doctor would walk into the room with a new diagnosis. Because of Cade and Connor being identical–it was decided that Cade needed to have an ultrasound also. Not good news there either though he was not exhibiting any symptoms at this time. Extremely frustrated, aching to go home to be with my other children, wanting to protect my baby from all the needles, catheters, and continuous exams; we were finally transferred to Johns Hopkins Hospital (or the “Big Hop” as one of the nurses called it). It was determined that the boys had Vesicoureteral Reflux level 5–the highest. No one could tell me why though. I remember sitting in those *wonderful sleep chairs* (any parent who has spent time in a hospital will know what I’m talking about), holding Connor, when in trooped Dr. Steven Docimo, followed by his entourage of resident doctors. I guess I had had enough of just about everything at this point in time. He looked extremely young, too young and handsome (another point against him). *smile* I looked at him and said, “I don’t like doctors.” “I don’t either,” he assured me without batting an eyelash. The horror, uncertainty, and anxiety of the past week started to recede as he explained once and then explained again what he thought was wrong with my babies and why surgery was needed immediately. Knowing that it takes a parent some time to process bad news, he explained again showing me the boys’ sonos and their grossly dilated and almost indistinguishable ureters, bladder and kidneys. He listened to my concerns and questions. He set my mind at rest, and gave me much more to think about but at least here was someone who was telling me he knew what was wrong with my sons and that he could do the surgery with his eyes closed–well not quite. *smile* He is a parents’ dream of a doctor. I can’t articulate the amount of gratitude I feel for this man, his knowledge and God-given talent as a surgeon. I guess I’m starting to sound mushy–I don’t mean too. It’s just that when your child(ren)’s life is literally in someone’s hands, you want someone that listens to you, talks to you and someone that instills great confidence and trust. Dr. Docimo is all these things and more–after my boys’ surgeries, he was always there if I needed a question answered or just some reassurance.

The future is not ours to see. I pray to the Dear Lord regarding my boys health but try to leave those worries to Him. One day at a time…